Goodbye 2016

Hey everyone,

I know, I know for most of you this blog probably doesn’t even exist anymore. And I can’t blame anyone because during the last couple of months I haven’t thought about it a lot either. But for me the end of the year is always a special time. You set some new goals (It’s New Year’s Eve and we are all quite busy defining our New Year’s resolutions – wow, I miss speech (never mind if you didn’t recognize the quotation)) and you also set an end to another chapter of your life.

2016 began in the basement of an American house in the middle of nowhere together with some friends. We sang karaoke, played some games and later, wanting to drive away, someone wrecked the family’s mailbox.

The first big highlight of the year was in February when I got to escape the Minnesotan winter for the BUBW conference in Orlando, Florida. This experience was, as mentioned so many times before, life changing and I will forever cherish the memories.

Right after my trip to Florida, Speech season started. This was another highlight I have already written so much about but I could still go on about all the positive aspects of that hobby for hours.

Scrolling through my gallery, I find an unlimited amount of Penny and food pictures all the way till May. Then there are several rows of photos which show neither Penny nor food because it was Praaam. The dance was fun. However, I also still remember the next morning where we took a practice AP Calculus test. I have absolutely no idea why I even took this test, but that’s way too far off topic.

Furthermore there are some birthday (thinking back to it I had a really nice one in America), track and Minneapolis/my host brother’s graduation from college pictures, some from graduation at my High School and some of my host grandpa’s chipmunks.

Then, all of the sudden as it seems, it was already time for my dear Serbian friend to leave home which meant there was exactly one week left for me. And I absolutely LOVED that week. Rodeo Week, my goodbye party, lake days – even though I couldn’t completely ignore that weird feeling in my stomach pointing out that something changing was about to happen, I keep my last few days in America in positive memory.

But of course the day had to come; my American parents gave me one last hug and with a little break of two enjoyable days in D.C. I was thrown back into my German or rather a new German life. I am not intending to talk about this process in detail right now, because yes, it was super hard and I wouldn’t consider that a highlight of my 2016 even though it made me grow a lot, too.

A nice vacation in Crete and a trip to Cologne with one of my friends, and summer was over. Well, there were a few more things happening but the beginning of the new school year came really fast. During the first week at my new school there was a fire in one part of the building. Luckily no one got injured but hey, another quite bizarre part of the year.

Before fall break, I was extremely happy to have gotten to see my cbyx friends againJ

During fall break, I went on a biking tour from Madrid to Lisbon with my brothers. That was definitely a gigantic highlight and I cannot wait for more tours to come!!!

I also got back into my beloved sport, gymnastics.

Christmas was spent together with family.

I am very thankful that since my return to Germany and especially since the beginning of the school year, I have met so many amazing new people and I am even more thankful to be able call some of them my best friends.

Talking about thankful, all together, 2016 was a very eventful and changing year and I am thankful for all the fun moments in it. Even though I am sad I don’t nearly get to see as many of the people I love this evening as I would like to, I want to let you know that I am thinking of you and I want to wish every single one of you a

HAPPY NEW ADVENTUROUS YEAR!!!

Still alive!

Welcome everyone! Welcome, to the big comeback! After weeks of waiting, I will finally give you what you have craved for.

Just kidding, I seriously don’t know who is going to read this anymore, since my American Adventure is pretty much over now and I have my normal German life back. So I guess that’s all I have to say. Bye.

Okay, if only it was that simple. Everyone who just wanted to know whether I’m back: you should know everything by now, everyone who wants to know how you really feel coming back to your home country after having spent a year abroad, read this.

First of all, there is no “normal” life anymore. I changed and the people around me changed, too. And I don’t mean huge changes but just little changes in many places can change the whole picture quite much. Second, I have a home on the other side of the world now, which means I will never be completely at home again, because part of my heart will always be elsewhere.

The first two or three weeks were tough. I didn’t want anything more than to go back but tried not to give the pain of missing too much attention. The jet lag which was way worse than a year ago didn’t help either. I pretty much slept 24/7 and was on my phone way too much.

At least, even though my feelings changed from tired, to sad, to angry to completely confused, I managed to get a job for the summer and worked out a lot.

From phase 1 of complete tiredness, I went to phase 2 consisting of watching super smart TV shows – I came to the conclusion that neither of them is really better.

Then, the last few days have been filled with extreme up’s and down’s – phase 3. There are moments where I really think that I got my life together and I can be the happy person I want to be, but when a little thing goes wrong, I am basically exploding.

Right now, I am in an up-phase and this time I am absolutely willing to try to keep it up. Not only is it much nicer for me myself and the people around me when I am in a good mood, I also have some things I have to get done which will only happen if I am in a good mood – fingers crossed.

I decided (yes, I actually managed to make a decision for once) that I am going to change some things in my life here and knowing that with that I won’t fall into my old, before-America routine again, helps, too.

Sometimes I still feel like it’s weird how small everything is, that the lady at the store doesn’t ask “How are you doing today?” or that none of the swear words in American songs are being removed on German radio.

But besides that, I will look forward. I will enjoy my summer as much as possible, use a lot of public transportation, prepare myself to go back to German school and try to slowly figure out what I want to do with my life. Nevertheless, the day I am most excited for, is the day where I can finally go back to America.

Summer 2k16

Summer vacation started three weeks ago and now, I am going to tell you a little bit about what I did. Besides being able to experience the Minnesotan summer, I also already had to say “goodbye”, or let’s rather say “see you later” to many people.

One of the first things happening in the summer was graduation. Since Andraya and I were in choir, we had to go there and sing “For Good” and “Dreams of Yesterday” written by the band director. It was quite an American experience to watch the ceremony and I wish they at least had the caps in Germany…

That same day, it was also Andraya’s cousin’s graduation, so we went up north to go see him. We stayed at her grandpa’s house overnight where I got to feed chipmunks and ride around an

even smaller town than Hawley in a golf cart.

The week after I went shopping with some of my best friends and stayed at my other best friend’s house for a night. She lives on a lake in the middle of nowhere so there went my Minnesotan nature experience:D

Last Tuesday, the Halwey exchange student squad has already gotten separated with the girl from Serbia leaving. Therefore, I did a lot of stuff with her and the Ukrainian girl before her departure, too.

From the 4^th to the 11^th it was also Rodeo week. I like to compare that week to carnival in Germany: most people have been looking forward to it since a year, people go crazy, and it’s basically the biggest event of the year. With the difference that in America they do not dress up in costumes, but ride horses. Traditionally, the Miss Hawley Pageant took place at the beginning of the week, too. Andraya, or rather Queen Andraya won and therefore had to wear a heavy crown to all kinds of events throughout the week.

Last Thursday, I had my going away bonfire – thanks again to everyone for coming!

Early Saturday morning, I already had to say “goodbye” to my sister since she went to Salt Lake City, Utah for Nationals. Later that day, I ran the traditional “Rodeo 5k run” with a couple of my friends and placed third in my age group. But they pretty much messed the awards up, so I haven’t received a real medal yet – whatever!

Sunday, I went to the local catholic church for the last time and I have to say: I am going to miss it a whole lot!

I am super proud to say that I basically finished packing Monday morning while I normally finish packing about ten minutes before I have to leave every time I go somewhere. I spend the rest of the day relaxing outside and starting to say “goodbye” to everything. Later, one of my best friends surprised me and picked me up for a sleepover.

Today, I had to say “goodbye” to many, many people and also went to the Hawley Senior Living for the last time. For dinner, my parents took me to a typical Minnesotan by-the-lake restaurant where we had some delicious food.

Well, and now, I am sitting here in the living room finishing this blog post and somehow trying to realize that I will have to leave all this behind in just a couple of hours.

Track & Field

Track is by far my favorite sport I have done in the United States. Since my school is so small, there weren’t any serious tryouts and I could just join. From the beginning on I wasn’t in the “fast“group because my chin splints came back immediately. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t give everything. The track practices were, as typical in America, super tough and hard. Besides that we had two meets every week where we would leave right after school and return at around ten at night. But the main reason why I enjoyed it so much anyways is the people who were in it. During track I got to know the people who I now consider my best friends and I am really thankful for that! Besides, our coach was really good and running is actually not too bad after all;)

Oh and incase you are interested: I am a sprinter and ran depending on the day 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, the 4x100 meter relay, and the 4x200 meter relay. I also did triple jump.

The Varsity Girls Team

We only dropped the baton once :P

Triple Jump

Running Buddies aka 5x100

Hawley High School

The school year is already over but I just wanted to show you some pictures of my High School. Before I came here, I really wanted to know what my future High School looked like but since it's so small, I couldn't really find any pictures. Well, future exchange students of Hawley, you're welcome!

Starting with the most typical part of American High School: lockers

                                  An example of a class room, this is where I had American History

And this is what the lunch area looks like, but we don't sit on the floor, normally there are tables

The media center / library from the outside and the left part of the inside

The main stairs

The old commons and doors to the gym with a pretty cool painting

Three weeks left

I thought it was about time to write about my feelings once again. Well, this is what I wrote last night at about eleven, just because:
Sometimes I wonder whether I feel anything at all right now. I tell you future exchange students, the time right before you leave your host country is very confusing. Very, very, very confusing. I was at least a little prepared for most other things during my exchange but when talking about the end of the year, everybody was just like: "Yeah, that will be the best time where you will have finally found your best friends and you will have a ton of fun!" And yeah, that is 100% true. But the imagination that a couple weeks before you have to leave the country you got to love so much and now consider your home, you will feel nothing but happy, well, is an imagination.
I think about Germany all the time. And what else could I do if felt like every other minute someone asks me: "When do you go back again?" Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone and I don't have the right to since I am asking other exchange students this question all the time as well. But it still does not help. I try very hard to blend that out and live my life to the fullest right here and right now but maybe it is exactly this trying hard part that makes it so hard.
And then it all seems unreal.
Unreal that I have already been away for nine months and 11 days. Unreal that I have to leave in three weeks. Unreal that I have to leave this life I love so much right now. Unreal that I will have to build a new life in Germany for the next two years. Unreal that I don't know when I will see these strangers, who became my best friends, again. Unreal that I won't live with my family anymore and that I won't wake up in my loved American room every day. And unreal, that I won't be a student at Hawley High School anymore.
Tomorrow is my last day of American High School EVER! The last month has been so busy, time just flew, and additionally, I am really not used to school ending basically right after my birthday.
My lunch table, my teachers, my locker - it will all suddenly disappear out of my everyday life.
To be honest, I am not even sure whether I will be able to cry tomorrow. I remember that it took me a while after I came to the United States to completely realize where I was and to organize myself and I feel like that's the same thing in reverse right now.
I really hope I will be realizing everything pretty soon to be able to nothing but enjoy my last weeks here because don't get me wrong, I am having a blast. It is just very fun and completely confusing at the same time.
I should really go to bed now. It's pretty late and tiredness mixed with all those feelings does not taste very good.
A little advise for exchange students on what to do in those moments of confusion: take a couple deep breaths, drink some water and  put your phone away - that's always a pretty good idea!
Or if you just have a crazy mind like me, write everything down and bug other people with your thoughts like I do right now!

And some flowers just because I think they are really pretty

My Birthday

Since it was my birthday last week, I thought some people might be interested in what I did that day. I have to disappoint you, I did not have a huge pink sweet sixteen party or got a brand new car which I couldn't drive anyways because the driving age in Germany is 18. Instead, I had a really, really nice day with my family and friends at home in Hawley and that was exactly what I wanted.
My birthday morning started out the best way possible with a German "Erdbeerrolle" made by my host mom.

Since it was Wednesday, it was obviously a normal school day, more or less exciting. The NHS (National Honor Society or a club for nerds) were gone and one of my best friends was sick which well, gave me more time to celebrate myself. But in choir everybody (like 98 people) sang for me which was pretty cool. Anyways, for track most of my friends were back and for practice we went on a scavenger hunt. My group basically got the worst route you could possibly get and we basically had to run to the other end of town and back three times. Through that my chin splints got to wish me a happy birthday, too! - Great! Therefore we were extremely surprised when we got last, but since we pretty much took the BEST pictures along the way, that was fine.

It was around five or six when I came home from practice and I spend the next half hour or so opening the boxes and letters I got from Germany. Again, a huge thank you to everyone who either congratulated me personally, via internet or send me a letter!
For dinner, my host family and I went out for dinner. We ate at a Japanese restaurant where they made our food right in front of us. It was delicious!

And that was basically what I did on my American birthday. I would really want to have some friends coming over, but the next weekends are more than busy for everyone, so I will probably just combine it with my goodbye party. Wow, goodbye party, that is extremely weird to think about... Anyways, I'll tell you more about that later!